I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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