So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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