That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
