Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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