hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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