The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
