how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
