we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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