do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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