shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
They took my balls.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize