i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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