we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
