Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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