Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
