ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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