drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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