Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
