Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
So squirting runs in the family.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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