I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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