So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
