i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
