When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
