we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
