I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
