Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
