hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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