I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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