people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
