Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
