One girl and one boy is just not enough.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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