I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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