HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
