dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
