i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
