so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
