she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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