Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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