Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
