Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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