I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
