Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
