South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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