If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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