Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
