Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
