i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
