I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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