Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize