so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
