Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
