Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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