So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
