ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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