Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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