i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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