can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
