morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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