Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
