UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
