what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
