I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
