Four minutes until I can fart!
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize