I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize