Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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