i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
