either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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