two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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