when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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