dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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